All Gimped Up...again.

My last post regarding Jonathan and visits to the ER is a bit outdated. He has now added 3 more trips to the ER in our 9-plus years of marriage. With a case of the swine flu and two more shoulder dislocations, the count is up to 8. It became evident that something needed to be done regarding his shoulder...after talking with 2 different shoulder surgeons, he begrudgingly scheduled surgery. The shoulder was repaired as well as possible at the end of February and he spent all of March in an immobilizer sling. Jonathan starts physical therapy on Monday and is hoping to be rid of the sling for good mid-April. It has been a trying time for the whole family. He is unable to drive, so I have become chauffeur as well as sole diaper-changer (and pretty much everything else having to do with Ross). Jonathan has had to sleep in a recliner in our living room for the past 5 weeks and misses being with us. Ross has had to learn the limits of his daddy as a playmate and is looking forward to a good wrestle when all is said and done.

The crux: the shoulder is not as strong as we had originally hoped. The surgeon drilled into the bone in order to attach the remaining tissue...but Jonathan's tissue was in bad shape. He didn't have much to begin with, and what was there ended up being quite torn and damaged from all the dislocations. So sports will always be questionable and if the shoulder were to dislocate again, it would mean total reconstruction surgery.

I was the one to learn all this news from the surgeon in the waiting room while Jonathan was coming out of the anesthesia. When the doctor asked me if Jonathan was very active, I knew it was a bad sign. After everything was explained to me, I sat there feeling devastated for Jonathan and wondering how to tell him this would be a life-long struggle that could lead to total reconstruction surgery...the poor guy can hardly stand even getting a shot. I sat there mulling it over just kind of in conversation with God about my concerns. During the surgery I had been working on a Beth Moore Bible study I'm in at church and when I opened my workbook back up after speaking with the doctor, I was amazed at where I had left off. The very next thing written in the study was, "Accept God's appointment as your reconstruction worker." I was floored. In that instant I realized that God is the ultimate reconstructor and healer. I felt a peace that we could trust Him and not worry about the "what ifs" regarding Jonathan's shoulder. It is so good to be reminded that God goes through our trials with us and is aware of every detail--nothing gets past him and there is nothing He can't handle. We are never alone and we are never left to figure it all out ourselves. He cares for Jonathan even more than I do (more than imaginable) and He will ultimately take care of him.